Woody Allen once said that sex was the most fun he'd ever had without laughing. But laughing and sex are not mutually exclusive. Horniness brings on undignified behaviour, and it is all the more fun if we are in on the joke. This blog is a celebration of the funny side of sex and the sexy side of humour. As an author of erotic stories I like to show that sex is more fun when it is playful and silly.

Sunday, February 3, 2013

The Prurient Pickles of Penelope - Episode One

I've decided to have a go at a flash fiction serial. Let me know what you think.

Episode One

Greeced Lightning

Penelope loved all kinds of porno movies, but gay porno movies were her favourites. There was a simple reason for this. They had more hunky guys in them. More hunky guys with big stiff pricks. In Penelope's mind the only reason they were fucking each other is because she wasn't there to be gang-banged by them.

On this balmy summer evening she lay back naked on her fake leather couch, some fluffy bath towels under her to soak up her sweat. And the sweat was dripping freely down her plump thirty-year-old body as she lazily stroked her sensitive clit. She'd lost count of how many times she had cum already. The DVD she was watching was erotic and educational. The Anals of History.

After a segment on prehistory – Erect Homos – the story jumped to ancient Egypt – Queens of the Nile. Now it was time for ancient Greece. The title came up : The Gloryhole That Was Greece.

"Ooooh, the Olympic Games!" enthused Penelope lubing up a massive dildo.

She wondered briefly whether the producers of the film really paid for the rights to use Vangelis' theme from Chariots of Fire, but it did fit perfectly with the sight of naked men running in slow motion with their erect cocks bouncing around before them.


After the 200 metres sprint came the relay race.

"But they don't have any batons. How can you have a relay race without batons?" Penelope wondered. The first runners sped down the track, all sweaty and stiff. In front of them their teammates crouched on their starting blocks ready for a fast take off.

"Oh!" Penelope exclaimed. "So that's how it works." She imagined herself all greased and naked and bent over on the race track all ready to receive a flesh baton. Then she slid her fat slippery dildo deep into her butthole. It felt so good. On a sudden impulse she grabbed her mobile phone and photographed herself. Then she threw down the phone, looked back to the television screen and rubbed her twat until she twitched all over. She always came harder if she knew her 18-year old internet boyfriend Ahmed would see the evidence and stroke his dusky dick.

She was exhausted. She'd have to watch the rest of the DVD another time.

When she turned it off a gossip show came up on the television. The screen filled with the face of her favourite television star – Rod Stroker, star of The Koala Whisperer. Her tired clit gave one more little twitch.

"Tired of the empty glitter of living in a penthouse on the Gold Coast, Rod has decided to give up the trappings of his success and move into a small unpretentious home in suburban Adelaide," the host of the show explained. A moving van pulled up to an ordinary looking house. A house which looked strangely familiar to Penelope.

"Oh, my God," she cried. "Rod Stroker's my new next door neighbour!"

2 comments:

  1. Love It!! Can't wait for the next installment.

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  2. Absolute Jewel! Your tongue in cheek (hey, that might be fun)prose really gave me a LOL experience. I especially love your play on homo erectus. Well done. And being a dude I'd love to see the running cunts. Ciao.
    WD from California

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